What's the Most Embarrassing Thing You've Done as a Parent?

My dad used to get a kick out of embarrassing me when I was growing up—embarrassing all three of his daughters, actually, was one of his favorite hobbies. He’s a fantastic dad, always has been—but if he’s got a chance to fart during a school event, do a Cheech & Chong or Ernest impersonation, or bang on the dashboard of his truck like he’s wildly playing along with an AC/DC song, he will totally do it.

I made a vow to never embarrass my daughter like my dad did—if not to help keep her face non-beet-red, then to simply satisfy my own need to keep a low profile. That said, I’m sure I’ve done plenty of things that have embarrassed her already—from checking her diaper in front of people when a sinister smell is afloat to randomly wiping her nose or covering her with kisses, also in public.

But in parenthood, as with any other part of life, there are plenty of moments that provide ample amounts of humiliation on our own parts. Though the time my daughter casually called out an obscenity while at the supermarket was pretty embarrassing, the time we went for a long car trip, forgot to stop and change her, and she peed through her diaper—and onto my husband’s shirt as he held her before we noticed it—was worse. Then there was the time we took her to the library and she puked all over him—thankfully we had some wipes on hand for that situation.

This weekend she told the little boy I don’t like her playing with, “My mama says you’re not my best friend.” It was weird feeling embarrassed because of a ten-year-old, but I smoothed it over, naming a child from her class: “That’s right, so-and-so is your best friend, isn’t he?” I also have developed a tendency to violently stammer when leaving messages on her teacher’s voicemail, oddly enough.

The thing is, I know that these incidents are pretty mild. In fact, I’m positive that some much more embarrassing moments are in store for my family and me—and that’s okay. We learn from each one. That leads me to my question, though: in order to prepare for the shockingly embarrassing moments ahead of us, I’d love to hear your most embarrassing stories. What’s the most mortifying moment of your career as a parent? If you’re comfortable sharing, please add your story below. I promise not to laugh—too hard!