According to one theory of childhood development, there are three distinct styles of parenting- authoritarian, authoritative and permissive.

The authoritarian parent rules by command, and expects to be obeyed regardless of whether the command makes any sense or not. This type of parenting is based on fear, either of physical violence or psychological intimidation. It is usually “patriarchal” in the sense that it is based on the awe and the power of a stern, frightening father figure. You could call it the traditional model of parenting.

The permissive parent doesn't really do much of anything, other than provide a more or less safe home for the child to live in. There are few or no rules, and few or no expectations. The child in this type of household isn't “shaped” at all by the parent- he or she basically just turns out however genes or inherent personality traits dictate.

The “happy medium” of parenting is the authoritative style. Parental authority is stressed, but is not based on fear. The parent is a strong and consistent figure, but also listens to the child, modifying rules when it makes sense to do so.

I think a lot of us were raised according to the old “authoritarian” model, but few of us have chosen to parent that way. Most of us apply one one of the other two models instead. In my opinion, you can pretty much tell whether a child is being raised by permissive or authoritative parents almost as soon as you meet them. Now why do you suppose that is?