We’re often told that intuition—“women’s intuition,” they often call it, in order to demean what it is, since if you put “women’s” in front of something, you automatically lower its value—is not something that even exists, let alone of value. It’s spooky voodoo wives’ tale mojo magic that’s equated with walking under ladders and avoiding black cats. But you know what? The truth is that it is very real and very valuable, and most parents—especially mothers—will attest to that.

Every woman I know has had a sixth sense when it comes to her children. They all have stories about knowing something was wrong (or right) about their child’s health, safety, and life in general. They get a feeling when something is wrong, even when not around their children—sometimes even when the children are grown. I sometimes jokingly say that my daughter feels like an actual physical extension of my own body, but it’s actually the truth; nine times out of ten (at the very least), I know when something is wrong (or right).

When my husband takes her out to the bounce place or the park, I know he’s safely caring for her; but when I get that sick feeling, I know something happened. I call and sure enough, she got hurt, though she’s fine. I’ve had bad feelings about everything from her sickness (yep, she had RSV like Mom thought!) to her very prematurity (I even predicted the cause, early in our pregnancy—which wasn’t hard, since it was hereditary), though I’ve also had good feelings, knowing when she had a good day or even when she’s good-quiet (playing in her room) to bad-quiet (swallowing a penny!). Parental intuition—and intuition in general, I would argue—are never to be ignored.

When my daughter was born premature and thousands of miles from home, family members were anxious to meet her after months of updates about her progress. When we came home, however, I was strict about people seeing her one at a time after scrubbing their hands first. People who smoked had to change shirts. Her immune system wouldn’t be caught up for a long time, after all. So when we received a bit of backlash for not attending the family reunion that year, I still didn’t budge. She wasn’t going to be around so many people—or smoke—only months after her birth. Preemies are severely at risk of getting RSV as well as other illnesses, and they often don’t recover as quickly, either. Many end up in the hospital, or dead, instead.

After the reunion, people all told me that they understood—and that one of my cousin’s children had discovered that she had a severe contagious illness a day after attending it. I am so glad to this day that I listened to my own heart rather than the demands of those around me—and continue to do it today. Please keep this in mind when others try to make you feel guilty or weird about following your parental instincts. They are always worth considering!