Though our toddler is making progress with her potty training efforts, it hasn’t been easy—for her or for her old ma and pa. Here are some tips to make potty training easier on your child and your family.

Don’t start until your child is ready. We made that mistake and had to backpedal for a while! Wait until he or she shows an interest in going potty, doesn’t like sitting in a pee-or-poop-filled diaper anymore, and/or shows or tells you that he or she needs to be changed.

Make a HUGE deal out of successes. Every time your child pees or poops in the potty, act like you just won the super bowl. “Wow! Great job, Tommy! What a big boy!” The idea is to get your child super excited about going potty—and proud of him or herself when he or she uses it. Alternatively, if he or she tries but cannot seem to go, keep up the encouragement by saying, “That was a good try. We’ll try again later.”

Try going potty with your child. When he or she realizes that Mommy and Daddy use the potty too, it may seem more natural.

If that doesn’t work, enlist more help. Have your child watch his or her older siblings or cousins go potty. Since we have an only child, we’ve had my younger sister over to help and our daughter has really responded to that.

Don’t scold, shame, or embarrass your child. This can create problems in the long run, as well as make potty training a hundred times harder. If pee ends up on the floor, it’s not a big deal. If he or she starts questioning his or her body parts, explain about them in a calm, relaxed voice. It’s okay to talk about body parts! And if your child starts touching said parts, don’t freak out; simply say that while that may feel nice, it’s something reserved for “private time” or “alone time.”

Use a reward system. Our little girl has filled a chart and a half of stickers. After the first chart was full, she was able to go to a bounce activity center, and she has been trying hard to fill the second chart in order to go again!

Try using underwear or going bare-bottom. This will help your child realize that it’s time to go, and chances are wearing wet, soiled underwear will be so uncomfortable he or she will want to use the potty instead.