Getting your baby to sleep through the night is something that a lot of parents are left dreaming of. That is if they get the chance to sleep long enough to reach the dream state. Before I delve into techniques of getting your baby to sleep on their own and in their own bed, I want everyone to know that I am a firm believer in attachment parenting and co-sleeping. I have done attachment parenting and co-sleeping with both of my children. However, co-sleeping can only last as long as the parents can handle it and then changes need to start taking place.

Morning after morning I wake up not well rested and with an aching back. I know that this is due to co-sleeping with my son and I just can’t take it anymore. He refuses a pacifier and instead, prefers me and if I try to get comfortable once he’s asleep, he wakes up and lets me know that he’s not very happy with me. It’s definitely time for a sleeping arrangement change. Now that he is 6 months, the same age my daughter was when I weaned her from my bed, I started the “crying it out” method. I know it sounds harsh and it is heart breaking to listen to them cry. It hurts when you go in there to sooth them but when nothing else works it’s worth a try. Here’s how the method works.

First and foremost, you need to set a routine for bedtime if you don’t already have one. Specify when bedtime is and make sure that it is the same time every night. In addition to having a bedtime, establish what you are going to do before bedtime to get them ready for it. This can include dinner, a bath, story time and a lullaby. Make sure that if this is your routine with your baby that you keep it up because babies need routine and adjust better if they know what to expect.

Talk to your partner to make sure that they are on board with you to follow through with the “crying it out” method. You both need to be physically and emotionally prepared. It’s tough hearing your baby cry when you know that if you just crawl in bed with them and nurse them to sleep they’ll stop. You have to stay strong and be consistent. Consistency is the key to the method. Once you start it you must follow through or it will not work. However, not all babies are mentally ready for this method and after you have tried and it doesn’t work out, quit and wait a couple more weeks before trying again.

Once you have finished the night time routine, lay your baby down in his/her bed. Sing to them and sooth them followed by a kiss goodnight and leave the room even if they are crying. Wait 5 minutes and return to reassure them by patting their chest. Only stay for a minute or two then leave the room again. This time, wait 7 minutes and do the same. After that, wait 10 minutes before you return. Continue returning every 10 minutes to reassure them until they have fallen asleep. This can take a while and if you are feeling too overwhelmed, have your partner step in while you step out to a place where you can’t hear the crying. With my daughter, it was rough for the first two nights, but after that she slept soundly and to this day 6 years later, bedtime is never an issue.