Gender Roles Taken Too Far?

Blue is for boys and pink is for girls. We all know that there are many differences between boys and girls when it comes to the basics like bedding, clothing and toys. Even further, we also know that boys and girls tend to have differences in personalities, likes and dislikes. Girls like princesses and fairies and boys like trucks and sports. Gender plays a big role in how we treat, discipline and react to our children's behavior. As they get older the question arises on how much you should treat them differently.

A divorced couple who have shared custody of their two children, one boy and one girl, seem to take the gender role a bit too far. Mom, who was raised herself to take care of the household and her husband took care of everything else. To add to the complications of the gender roll, she was also raised to “mother” her children until a certain age, then they are on their own.

The daughter being the oldest is has now been given the responsibility of taking over what mom did when she is with her dad. She is not quite yet a teenager and has her normal chores but is also responsible for cooking meals for her father and younger brother. She has very high expectations set for her that always never seem to get reached resulting in her losing her allowance and her parents upset with her all the time. However, when she is with her “nanny” she is a perfect angel and there are no problems.

Her younger brother who is in the age range of 7-10 years old also has his own set of chores. The amount and difficulty of them is considerably less than his sister's responsibilities and he too gets the same amount of money each week for allowance. The other major difference, the son does not have as many strict rules to abide by and in his parent's eyes, can do no wrong. Like his father, he can be very out-spoken with foul language and it is simply considered “expressing himself.” When his with the family's “nanny” she has a very difficult time with him. Not used to being disciplined in the least bit and the “nanny” not really allowed to dole out punishment to him, he runs the show however he pleases.

Under the supervision of his own parents at a birthday party, rough-house play began. He took it a bit too far and proceeded to punch another child in the face knocking a tooth loose. Both parents took it as fun and games and “boys will be boys” giving their son absolutely no punishment or even a talking to about when rough-housing crosses boundaries.

There are certain things that boys need to learn as well as girls, but where do you draw the line with the gender differences? In this case I think that it has gone completely overboard and is out of control. Let me know what you think here in the comments or on Twitter at @HellenWyeth. How do gender roles play a part in your family?