We've all seen it; the commercial where the dim-witted husband is searching through the refrigerator to find the dilectable treats that his wife describes to someone on the phone, only to find out she's describing yogurt flavors. How about the tv show where dad is the lovable buffoon that tries to be more of a friend than a father? Even the formulaic films depicting dads as detached workaholics that can't relate to their children. There are a lot of unfair stereotypes that are perpetuated in the media; women as models (model mothers, model wives, runway models), teenagers as hormone-engorged petty criminals, blacks as gangsters, men as exploitative or stupid. There may be a kernel of truth in the telling, but to brand a type of person to a stock caracature is harmful and unjust. As a new dad, I particularly resent the media portrayal of fathers and husbands as a kind of domestic idiot.

     Before I had kids, I didn't notice it. Since having our first child, and learning how incredibly difficult and rewarding parenting is, I see them all the time. Commercials for everything from yogurt to cell phones to car insurance depicting dear old dad as a foil to the imminently competent and better-prepared mother. Dads on TV that are at best a nuisance to their wife (who knows how to change a diaper) to an embarassment to their children (trying to use "dawg" in a sweater). This ubiquitous portrayal of dads as parental losers feels damaging to my own credibility, and to the real difficulties that I've experienced as a parent and learned from.

     This is not to say that my wife has not dealt with the same issues, and to some extent I could see where the media portrayal of mothers has effected her as well. Many new mothers feel that they're supposed to just know how to be a mom from day one, and as many of us know, that is not the case. Ultimately, these depictions are only as harmful as we allow them to be. If people consciously combat the daily barrage of suggestive ideas that we are subjected to from television, magazines, internet, movies, they won't approach a person with this "reality tv" conceptualization. We need to stop looking at TV and considering that the reality outside our doors. The best way to do that is simply to go outdoors, preferrably with a stroller.

     Yes I'm a dad. I'm a dad that changes diapers without making faces (usually), takes his 4 month old on walks (I walk, she rolls), gets spit up on and laughs (not curses or mimes gagging), and can talk about bowel movements, breast feeding latch, bedtime routines and developmental landmarks with any other real parent. I will make mistakes, and I'll look confused, and I'll probably embarass my kids (definitely my wife), but that's what real parents do. Unfortunately or not, real parents probably don't make good TV...but then again, look at those teenagers on TV. Do we really want our kids turning into that?