If you haven’t yet started consciously teaching your child about manners, there’s no time like the present to begin. You have probably already started, even if you think you haven’t.  Have you talked about sharing, or not interrupting a conversation?

While many people believe that manners are old-fashioned and unnecessary today, they are actually often quite helpful in teaching ethics and values, and can even come in handy throughout your child’s life.

Whether at a corporate luncheon or a business meeting, conversing with a professor or addressing a client, manners can be important in just about any setting. That said, the ones that you do teach should come from your own ethics compass and not simply out of sheer tradition; after all, if we went by that, we would use burps, sexism, and a plethora of other elements that many people find offensive on a daily basis.

To begin teaching about manners, explain what exactly manners are. There’s no point in telling children to “mind your manners” if they don’t know what manners are in the first place! Use your own definition of manners to explain what they are. You may want to explain that they are about respecting people and showing kindness, or using the “Golden Rule.” Stress why they are important to you and your family, and why you would like your child to be mindful of his or her manners.

According to psychologist John Rosemond, who believes that teaching manners is an integral part of helping children to respect both themselves and others, manners should be taught one at a time, with positive feedback given after every success. He also says that mistakes should not be overlooked—but they also shouldn’t be made into a big deal, either—and that if a child forgets a manner, to give a prompt that’s encouraging and noncritical.

Here are some more tips on teaching manners:

Practice what you preach. Children learn by example, so be sure to “mind your manners” as well!

Do some role playing. Kids love to play pretend, so what better way is there to help them learn their manners than having a “pretend” dinner or social event?

Tell kids what to expect ahead of time. Children must be aware of the behavior expected of them. Try something like, “Aunt Bea is coming over. I know she smells a little funny, but it’s important for us to make her feel comfortable at our home. Give her a big hug and a smile when she comes in the door.”

Make a note of when you see good behavior out loud. Say, “That was so nice of Jimmy to help Grandma with her grocery bags!” Be sure to emphasize these gestures when your own child completes them as well.

Realize that nobody is perfect. Your child will make mistakes—and so will you. If your child catches you in an act of rude behavior, explain that you know you make a mistake. Apologize if it is appropriate, and explain that even mommies and daddies make mistakes. We can learn from them and move on.

What manners do you think are the most important to teach? Have you successfully taught them to your children—and if so, how?