Earlier this week, the web was buzzing about the story of Kerry Campbell, a mother who had her eight-year-old daughter, Britney, injected with Botox to—get this—give her an edge during beauty competitions. Britney has since been removed from her home following the public outcry after Campbell’s televised confession, and while the status quo seems to be satisfied, it really leaves me feeling more distressed than ever about how we view children and parenting in this country.

Don’t get me wrong; was Campbell did was despicable. But there are three things that are really bothering me about this—none of which are that specific to the case itself, I suppose, but more about the nation as a whole.

1. Kids and Pageants

These have always bothered me. Why do we even allow them to occur? A person from my childhood enters her kids into pageants and I simply find it repulsive. Not only are you slathering harmful chemicals all over your beautiful child’s skin—skin that is already being tainted by endocrine disrupting chemicals and plenty of other harmful substances just by existing, mind you—you’re also sexualizing her, making her an object even before the media starts to (which is soon enough already). Let her be a kid, for Pete’s sake, and quit trying to exploit her and make money off of her. And the whole thing about the pageant people denying that their contestants routinely use Botox? Total BS. I say we outlaw pageants for anyone under 18.

2. Taking the Kids Away

We always assume that taking kids from their parents is such a fantastic thing to do, and we hear—as in this case—“the kid is doing well.” That’s usually the end of it, until the kid is later found abused from foster care, or stuck in the system, released with nothing upon reaching age 18 and ending up homeless, hopeless, or simply a damaged product of a broken home. Counseling parents may be the better route in many circumstances; I don’t know if that is the case here, but since none of us “viewers”—isn’t that what we’re pretty much stripped down to in this country, not brothers and sisters or even fellow citizens but viewers of each other’s business?—knows the whole story, we can’t say for sure, either.

3. Child Abuse

I wholeheartedly agree that Campbell’s actions were child abuse. Wholeheartedly. But I am sickened by the masses of people who ignore the other forms of child abuse that are perpetuated every single day—from verbal screaming I witness at every child class or gathering, sexual and physical abuse, child neglect, and so many common forms that just go unnoticed. We cry foul over Botox (and rightly so) while we turn a blind eye as our neighbors beat the shit out of their children and call it discipline. Make no mistake; children have fewer rights than animals and criminals, who are both protected by law from being beaten in such a manner. I’ve written so many times about how spanking is one of the worst things anyone can do to their children, and am continually disappointed when I see people continue to support or execute the abuse.

In fact, on Facebook, a friend had commented about how heinous the whole story is—and days later bitched about parents not “controlling” their children like they should—yes, because children are not autonomous sentient beings but pets or property that need to be controlled—and how kids need to “pick a switch.” The horrifying thing is that while this friend has no children—and therefore no room to speak; I don’t give a damn how many people say their friends’ kids or nieces or nephews or whomever were “like their real kids”—my own sisters were “like my real kids” in a real 24/7 way for years, to the point where they even called me mom for a while, and that is still NOT the same thing, not even close—she does intend upon having them, and “hopefully lots.”

Logic itself would tell you that child abuse—I mean spanking—is a gross, violent act that should never be completed; dozens of groups, including the American Academy of Pediatrics, are against it, and its results include children who are more violent, insecure, untrusting of their own parents, sexually aggressive, and worse—not to mention that beating up someone a third of your size who just stands there, helpless, is the very bullying behavior that we’ve been condemning as a nation.

So Botox Mom is definitely a piece of work, no doubt—but like OctoMom before her, perhaps her critics should take a long, hard look in the mirror before they open their traps.